Once We Don't Need . . .

... A Mother Anymore ...

We Move On ... To Mate Conquest

Routine Variety

The key to self-fulfillment is
Having a routine with just
The Right amount of variety.

A routine can be satisfying only
If the doer is also the planner
Making all the choices, then doing them.

But we can't expect everything to change all the time
So the game is to create new routines

You're Never Alone When . . .

... You're with Yourself ...
-
THAT IS, If You Have A Personality
As Engaging As Mine ...
-
Moving Thru Time
With people & Thought Constructs
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The worst form of insanity): phobic-panicpiphanies
Is when you can't accept your own existence
And want to have Nothing to do with it
(and yet you must do SOMETHING --
-- even if it means doing Cancer ):

The Numbers Add Up . . .

It's synergistic that you said you're 1% unstraight --
That suggests you'll look at 99% of the trophies
Who come along with couples envy
-
It is Clear that You are 100% correct
(philosophically-physiologically-politically etc.)
And that all late-comers are and shall be
Deemed inferior (& subservient) to you

Romeo Twayne

P.S. You make me feel like a young black kid and
Now I Love the sonic-synth of 102.7 KIIS-FM!

With our synergistic talented benevolence
We will turn this world upside down
(before the North-South pole magnetic field reversal)

Ziggy Twayne

Grab your pony by the mane
And ride this blog by Ziggy Twayne

Why People Get Married . . .

At the time right before marriage
Each party believes s/he will never meet anyone else
Whom s/he would like/want/rather be with more.
-
Of course, they were wrong when they thought that ...
... Probably but not necessarily ...
With notable exceptions like S & A
[who blend together very smoothly
unlike the 9999 heretofore who didn't]

Entertain Yourself!

The babysitters have All Grown Up Themselves!
And moved on to more adult atmospheric environments

You don't have to go anywhere
You can be happy in your own house
And especially in your own head

Sigmond Twayne
"It's just what they pay me to say!"

Boast, Brag & Spend

I have no reason to boast, brag or spend
This week but it's OK to have weeks like that

Tomorrow 11/21 is 40 Days to 2010

Think about That for 40 winks

When Your Mind Digs In . . .

... When It Burrows Down
Hard and Deep into the Material
(the topic, area, body of interest)

Like a microscope drills a hole
Straight through your soul

Jim Morrison I Am Not
Missed That Chance in 1976
By Staying Alive n'awlways
Dependent On Survival

Sigmond Twayne
Filling in the Blanks and the
Cracks Between The Planks

P.S. You can cash in all your chips on 12/21/12
and hop a spaceship or take a lava bath

Seize The Moment In Eternity . . .

To cap off an overactive lifestyle
'Spent most o' the night in the
Malibu of the dreamosphere
*
And met a soft applewoman
Whose kiss stuck to my lips
(like cartoony stretchy kisses)
*
I've arched through Alaska, Maine
Switzerland, Amsterdam and Peru
But now it's All About Malibu
*
Stay healthy physically and mentally

Sigmond Twayne
Doctor of Physical Divinity

P.S. Have you considered that reality is
Much smaller than your imagination imagined?
*
If you want to be a star
Your audience must first be
Emotionally engaged to you and
Then grow and spread like a fire
*
Sometimes Sundays are for
Avoidance of all 99 stimulants of life
{like the Rihanna Taylor Swift sex tape}

Sigmond Twayne's Malibu

Malibu is a hierarchical number line --
~.~ Top To Bottom ~.~
*
Above Malibu:
42505 Pacific Coast Hwy -- Neptune's Net (Food & Surf)
steamed mussels and steamy muscles
35000 Leo Carillo beach

Malibu
34000 PCH -- Nicholas Canyon beach
33100 -- Hwy 23 connection to Westlake Village
32100 -- El Matador stairs-beach-cave (cove)
30765 -- Broad Beach--Trancas Canyon surf shop
30215 -- Malibu High
*
30000 -- Zuma Beach - Zuma Westward Beach
29575 -- Spruzzo's bar & restaurant Natasha
29400 -- Point Dume Bob Dylan's ranchero
29350 -- Coral Beach cafe & bar
28128 -- Paradise Cove beach, bar & restaurant
27800 -- Geoffrey's naughty haughty cocktailia
*
24255 -- Pepperdine women volleyball
23400 -- Taverna Tony's Greek restaurant & bar
--------- Nicole & Renette
23000 -- Malibu pier restaurants & bars
*
21150 -- Duke's bar & restaurant on the rocks
----------prettiest young women & debutantes
--------- Shawna & Laurie, bartendress Deanna
--------- Tropical Itch (dark rum floated over vodka)
19453 -- where God has sex with nubile angels
19000 -- Malibu city limits
18820 -- American Apparel superstore
18700 -- Topanga Canyon connection
17300 -- Sunset Boulevard connection
16300 -- Temescal Canyon connection
14000 -- Patrick's Roadhouse cafe restaurant
*
Having the freedom to do Anything you want
Does not assure that you have the desire,
inspiration, motivation (dim)

Baseball Is Like Grade School . . .

9 Innings are like
9 Grades -- one after another
*
Progress and success are optional
And subject to others in the game (school)
*
The person who Cheers the best
Is the one who is cheering him/herself OUT
Of his/her own deepest depression (slump)
*
"Depression" = mental paralysis
& Will Power has a concussion
--Sigmond Twayne 11-1-09

I love figurin' things OUT
And fingerin' things IN
Do new things to rise above
The human banality of neutrality
*
Happiness (satisfaction) Is
"Calling The Shots" (the sequence of events)
And seeing them get done that way
whether by yourself or someone else

The Neighborhood Lovetoy

My Beloved Readers:
*
I, Sigmond Twayne,
Do Solemnly Swear that
I Am the "Toy In the Hood"
*
I have deep feelings of amorous affinity
For the ladies of Los Feliz
God Rest Their Souls
And Shake Their Bodies

Sigmond Twayne, I, ME
Inspired, Motivated Enthusiastic
Victim of my own amorosity
*
P.S. Love is an acquired taste
Especially after THIS many years of experience

Sex & Breakfast All Nyte Lawng

Don't fade away by 10 PM
The night's just kicking into gear
*
By 2 AM you'll be getting it both ways--
alimentarily and anatomically
*
Everytime youhave anorgasm
You spray your Spirit into the Universe

Mother Earth Vomits Up Humanity . . .

2009 Nobel Prize for Satanic Studies
For International Discord --
*
Awarded To Scooter Libby
For First Degree Treason
Punishable By Execution
By Firing Squad (US Army)
*
After The Crucifixion of
*
Dickhead Cheney
Donald Scumsfeld
George w Swoosh
Jackoff Abramoff
Tom Delay Prison
Condomsleeva Rice
Catjew Booty Giuliani
Larry Silverslime
Michael Skirtoff
Henry Kissagerm
Michael Spookasey
Dov Zakheim Mastermind
*
The Dirty Dozen of
Debauched Humanity

Don't Show Doubt or Uncertainty . . .

... Do Not Show or Express
Doubt or Uncertainty and do not mention
Inadequate (or unavailable) resources

Because THAT may make YOU look like the
Cause of the problem (inadequacy or indifference)
Or at least it will draw more attention to you
As The one to take the blame

For those trying to suck the 'para' out of your 'site'
Rather than implying (verbally or electronically)
rejection/abandonment
Merely appear to be unavailable!
*
If you're a person who likes to start confrontations
Maybe you should consider discontinuing that practice

Sigmond Twayne
Wiser Than A Hoot Owl

I'm Trying To Get Civilized . . .

... by Not wanting to marry every
beautiful young woman I meet
*
Let's start with Orchid O'Hara --
We'll do the "5" Plan:
*
5 weeks of blissful romance
and then we'll decide
whether to continue ...
*
for 5 months ...
and then we'll decide whether
{or forever} to continue ...
*
for 5 years ...

Yours Truly,
Pen is in Paris

The Hollywood Argyle . . .

Sigmond Twayne The Mayor of Hollywood & Argyle
*
24 hours is a long distance run ...
Get at least 0 hours of sleep ...
Watching all these greyhounds
Trotting up the sidewalk in their
Black stretch pants & black stilettoes ...
*
I've developed a character
So strong and so long (it's got legs)
That it's become thematic of the fabric
of the modern entertainment media

Sigmond Twayne ~..~
Mayor of Hollywood & Argyle
East -- or West to Malibu and
North to Marin and Sonoma

EMA -- Extremely Mentally Active ~>

[And Dick Only does 10% of the work]
Sleeping-Dreaming or Awake.
.
Create a new (different) version of what
You've been doing (making) All Along! ...
.
THAT will keep you out of the nutty house
(depression-alienation)
.
Run Not from your past
But Toward your future
.
You can TELL when a person
is struggling for self-acceptance
(to establish calm, available attention)
.
Next subject:
"I like you and I totally accept you"
is much better than
"I love you"
(implies dependency)
.
Next subject?
*
Sigmond Twayne Wordsmith
Phil Psychologist <> psy philosopher

Knock On My Door . . .

Knock on my door, ring me up
Or just knock me up!
-
A cigarette a Day keeps the
Smug self-righteousness Away
-
We all play off of signals from one another.
Have you ever thought of yourself as
a traffic light? -- Well, You Are.
-
Gauging by the expanding girth of my belly
I'd say I'm for liquofood self-indulgence 24/7
-
Jumbo's is the easiest hole to fall back into
If your money is short and your dick is long
-
"Live Cattle, Lean Hogs and Coffee"
(a punch line without an antecedent)
-
If you're a hornytoad like me
You may want to peek at
-
Warning: My mind is like a roller coaster
>>>>>>> And sometimes it goes off the track

What A Messed-Up Species We Are . . .

... Hemming and hawing about the
Air temperature going Up and Down
Like somehow this is an eternally new experience.

Federal agents could
Stop going after mellow delta9
But go after superfluous champagne
And dump it all down the drain
{so it don't drown our brain}

The bonds of marriage are the USB cable
Of freely shared communication
Among man, woman & machine

Skirts & Parachutes ^ ^

Skirts -- as opposed to pants -- are
To keep the thighs snugly together --
While every passing male can't help
But think about prying them APART!
-
With tender kisses to Start
Followed by heavy lumberjacking
-
And speaking of woodybats & hardballs,
The surface of a Major League baseball
is virtually the same as a human scalp!
Go Figure!!
-
"Awareness" implies being the recipient of reality
"Consciousness" implies being reality itself
-
"What Color Is Your Casket?"
The new #1 bestseller sequel to
"What Color Is Your Rubber?"
(er, i mean, your "Parachute")

Not Guilty!

Do you sometimes feel guilty
For your own existence on earth?
-
Don't Do That!*
-
What's actually happening is
You're worn or fatigued and
You need to take a nap -- or
Do a bowl -- whichever comes first
-
*We are semi-programmed from pre-birth
So alot of our behavior is technically
Not the fault of our own conscious minds

Can't Sleep beyond 3 AM? . . .

Get Up, Stand Up
Turn on Coast To Coast AM (640 in L.A.)
Turn on Your Mind with Delta9
Light The Candles, Get Out The Pictures
Stretch your muscles, massage your wackadoodle

Work Done by 9 AM:

Write your daily blog
Type it onto the blogspot by 9 AM

Drive: Observatory to Malibu
Paradise Cove to El Matador
Taverna Tony, Nicole, Renette
Spruzzo Natasha & Bartender
Duke's servers & bartenders

Are You With Me?

Sigmond Twayne
Host - Travelguide - Photographer

Freudian Psychology . . .

Men, someone should play with
Your peenie-weenie everyday
let's say around 9 AM to 1 PM --

It's your Gawd-given right
as a genuine Prick of The Earth!

Remember: If you die unexpectedly --
> > > > > > > Recycle Yourself Promptly

KSWD-FM --
Kiss Single White Dancer-Fornicating Mistress

Life in Malibu --
Lately, it's been expensive AND Fattening:)
As in Friar Tuck on the beach at Geoffrey's
With an 18 year old Hawaiian Tuck! ~..~

PUT DOWN THE SPICES, BOYS!
This Is (she be) the perfect stimulant

Happiness & Gluttony
& Then Ya Gawtta Pee

Hard Blunt Romance

The statement,
"I will always love you" actually means
I WANT to always love you but
~..~
We have no way of knowing how,
How much or for whom we
Will feel in the future.

Honesty Blunts by
Sigmond Twayne
{enjoy one daily}

Un-Moosh These Thoughts . . .

Do you have your WHOLE
Social Life On That Phone?!

Play along with us now -- The Chivas will
Erase your memory by tomorrow morning

Life is a cruise ship --
You need to reserve your cabin

This falafel is Dry enough
To suck a camel's breast

Your vagina is perfect for our
Imagination (lustful inspiration)

Your friends may chide you for talking too much but
THAT may be your ticket to Jim Carreylike stardom

If you are close to death
You may visit Jumbo's Clown Room --
Hospice for the terminally horny

The S.A.T. Now Requires a book review of
"Sigmond Twayne's Mental Cookbook"

Promoting Fun For The Public . . .

My life is now geared and engineered
To promote fun for the public masses
And careers for private individuals

Consultations are complimentary
And the romances are skintillating

Sigmond Twayne
Now cruising at 133 MPH (5300 rpm)}
With 600 horses rollin' 4 black marshwheelows

This message was brought to you by
"Cougars, Vipers & Gold" now on sale

"Vitamins & cigarettes may
Not be such a bad combination"

Bohemian New Age Lunch . . .

by Sigmond Twayne
{the 99 cent Chef}

(naturally by this time u should've already
imbibed the delta 9 mind enhancement)

Country Fresh Farm Fresh Dairy Fresh
Read, Heed, Heat & Eat:

a) salted peanuts 1 oz. {appeteaser}
1) Mariners Cove New England Clam Chowder
2) plus equal amount of milk
3) Bob's Red Mill Flaxseed 4 tablespoons
4) one small red tomato sliced into 16 equal parts
5) one white mushroom " " " " "
6) Farmer John Clove Spice
** 1.5 oz. smoked ham in 16 pieces
7) Karl Strauss Amber Lager foam 1 oz.
***** Boil and Serve! *****
a burnt tongue on This stuff is such sweet torture

Dessert:
*Fish steaks in Louisiana hot sauce
*Farmer John Braunschweiger 1 healthy chunk
*One badass cigarette
*And full bottles of Karl Strauss Amber Lager {^}
Until your lady drags your clothes right off your bones
{all the better to JUMP THEM}

{^} A Munich pub-style lager with a rich
Caramel maltiness balanced by a clean, smooth finish

And Now For Some After Lunch Halloweenings:

"50 Ways To Cleave Your Lover"

Chop him up into 50 pieces and
Fedex one piece to each of the
50 States (of retribution)

Creedence Clearwater Revolver
Says that Jay Leno is a Pussywinkle
(pussier than a pussywillow)

Who SAID heaven doesn't stretch from
Boulder to Sierra Madre to Malibu?!
with foxsmart Randi Rhodes
Blowing reality in your face on 1150 AM

I love my well-styled life
And you should copy me

Emotional Roller Coaster . . .

(Hollywood Style)
Been There, Done That!

... but I think I'm more in love with You
Than with all these other pretty faces --
polished to a glow and a
Sheen that gives my plumper a Charley horse

{romantic scenes so bright and yet
So ephemeral, they may as well be a dream --
I'm Not going back into that beehive of beauties
And viagaric vipers}

Sigmond Twayne
Divining Reality

Pure Transfer of Energy

October 13, 2009
A Day for the Record Books

1) Surreal photography of the
Massive clumps of yellow leaves and
Paths of pink petals on the foggy-rainy
Mountain forest trails of Sierra Madre

2) Proceeding to donate brain to UCLA Neurological
And make family tribute in stone to be placed at
Grandfather's site in PA

3) In double girl-boy triangle at L.A.'s finest club Cheetahs
Here's the triangle Transfer of Energy:

Christine Feb 3 Phx -> Anna L. -> Anna Feb 3 Scottsdale

Head & Heart

When a man is so impressed by a woman he just met
That he feels the desire to marry her that first night
But NOT have sex 'cuz it's WAY Too Soon For That!

The Head says it's too soon
But the Heart would not resist
(the urge to merge)

We are all role-playing atoms and
Sooner or later we learn to roll with it
("it" being interactive relationships, boats & canoes)

Many couples are engaged but haven't set the date --
I've set the date but haven't yet met the mate

Anonymous Wedding:
I.B. 'X' <~..~> U.B. 'Y'

When someone insists on seeing your apartment,
(S)he is deeply curious about your eccentricities

Heaven Is A Flimsy Concept . . .

... To The Mortal Man.

Here's what actually happens
(after years of relationshipbuilding) ...

Every woman who's ever taken likin' to ya
Will converge upon you
At that primordial synergistic moment
In which powerful jets of romantic fluids
Beam upward like fireworks
Satisfying every woman
Who's ever taken a likin' to ya

Sigmond Twayne
Power Poet with a Vision

P.S. When a camel dies, only his head & neck go to heaven

Candid Candidacy . . .

Candidacy -- the act of being candid

Q. If I were not allowed to read your answer,
How Would You Describe Me?!
Please tell others (but not me)

Sigmond Twayne
Facing The Music
MarQuet Research Q Factor

[perhaps THIS will help you skew your answer:
{and Skew It Hard!}

At this juncture, Sigmond Twayne has
Five new love notes written (complimentary messages)
To five women (4 Hollywood debs and 1 Phx F43 {+ M14})

Or THIS: Walking downstairs naked, high and unwiped
Is the child's pleasure that some of you are no longer having

Or This final turdbit:

Being 2 minutes early is far better than
Being 2 Seconds Late!
(for Any visual display)

Sigmond Twayne
Art Institute of CA San Francisco
October 2009

PSAR:
Post Script Addendum Rider --
Do you ever feel Too Healthy
To take your frickin' Vitamins?!

Have You Yet Dipped . . .

... Cranberried Turkey bitesizes into Hummus?

{with cayenned Mustard eggs for dessert}

Well Let's Get With The Program!

The Program will be beamed into your
Consciousness once every 24 hours

I am here to enjoy your house so
Its full value is realized and lived out

Sigmond Twayne
Just Here To Help

Running The Program . . .

Here's The Program:

Meet your new permanent lover in Phoenix --
Then go to the spy plane pilots reunion at the
Museum of Atomic Testing in Las Vegas --

Make a late shift medweed run
Fortified with Del Taco
In southwestern Hollywood

Then get Alicia on board (on a sail board)
as Miss Surf World 2010 ~
Spokesmodel for the water sports industry
In Her signature Statue of Liberty suspension gown --

Meet the new girls (Alina & Robin)
Then do the French Drip at Freds 62
With undercover sexy scientist Talia

This is the dream that never ends
But now I have the endurance for it

We are each an atom circulating our
Incredible beauty:) powerfully attractive
In one another's eyes ~..~
Essentially daring genitalia to keep up the pace
With our lofty and noble artistic progression

Sigmond Twayne
Lubrication for the mind

126 Hooks Up With 221 . . .

... and it's not just the physical stuff
That feels so fine -->)
It's making that special human connection:
The Spirituosocial collaboration >->
She's going to be a rap star!

Then there's Jennifer
Red fingernails, curly gold bracelet
And the cutest face

And then Along Comes Mary
Theater Grad Student
Who runs the local hostel

So we go from rough to cute to classy

Jump ahead a half hour ...
{Valerie} Christine
Flight attendant dental hygienist
Whose Corvette dealer, future ex-boyfriend
Isn't taking the bus to see her here at the bar

Foxy Christy is a SCEU --
Self Contained Entertainment Unit
She's a 'rough & tumble' comedienne in a box

Seems like the 4th time is the charm:
221, Jennifer, Mary, Christine=Charm

"And The Reason Is NOT You"

The reason that most women won't marry me
AND bosses won't hire me is that
I AM My Own Boss
And they hate being shut out
Of the decision making process

And they're not particularly keen with
My perfectly articulated and enunciated
360 words per minute

There's No Higher Heaven . . .

... Than getting on the track
Early in the morning
(with perception freshly enhanced)
and lettin' 'er purr at ninety

{After decades of rough-tuning and
The last ten years fine-tuning my life,
Pretty much everything I do
Is a heavenly experience}

Bringin' 'er down from 90 to 60 in 5 seconds
In deference to the 'Smokey'
Parked in the center island
Just adds to the exciting ambience
Of high speed motion
(168 miles in the 1st 2 hours)

Black Chevy & Nissan pick-ups
Make great pace cars
(I'll go with the faster one)
The Corvette & the motorcycle:
Also fine pace cars

Another aspect of heaven is that
I live about a mile from the I-5 highway
so I can pit stop in my apartment for 5 minutes
in the middle of a ten-hour drive from
San Francisco to Phoenix
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This 8-minute blog
Is brought to you by

Sigmond Twayne
M.C. O'Heaven

Even Heaven Doesn't Have . . .

... THIS Kind of Programming --

Anchor Steam from Kiersten at 1739PH
Black Bear Byron Backingup Bartenders
Library Internet & Printer at Hillhurst & Franklin
Rustic Inn Still The One Dark Cave Glowing
With the Energy of Its Illustrious Patrons

Sex is OK aslongas everygirl
Wantsto doit withyou allthetime

Take the subway down Broadway
from Columbia to Houston St.

Pardon me ~>
My dream is pullingme all the way in ....

Ring - Ring! ........ Ring - Ring!

"Woodya like ta get married in Switzerlin?

"Who's Calling?"

"Oh, it's me, Sigmond Twayne
Lovin' Switzerland, Hamsterdam & San Frangelisco
Let's Go Trippin' "

Bring Everything butt your inhibitions

Music Appreciation:
Every song is a 'musical' but
"Papa Was A Rolling Stone"
Is A Theatrical Masterpiece

Sigmond Twayne Franklin
Photopirate of Vermont

Existential Challenge:
Smokers: Could you NOT smoke for six hours
If there were sex on the other side of the six?

Six-Liner P.S.

P.S. -- Pre Script

Heaven is a
Personality test.
Stay functional
On alcohol only
You may eat later
After 2 AM
[you can have an ounce
of Doritos at 10:30 PM]

......... but you ARE such a grown-up
That's why I've always liked you
You're an upper class woman and
I'd like to move up into your class
and taste the sweetness of yoass

Permission Granted,

Sigmond Twayne
Grant's Tomb
120th & Broadway
New York, NY
(212) NEW LOVE

Today's Wordplay:
word devolvement -- spark > sparkle > sparkles >
sparkless = dead, not sparking or sparkling!

Playboy Advisor:
Don't be a lumberjackass

How To Navigate The Globe . . . . . . .

....... when you're fucking hard
You have to go one way or another
North, south, east, west, up, down, in-out> AND
Decide how fast and how long for each segment!
Oy Vay!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I am feeling a full universal backflight--
That means focusing momentarily
On the coolest moments of your
Vivid childhood (toys, trees, boyds & bees,
Pumpkin frost & sleigh riding (with the town whore)

Scout camp -- cinnamon, sage & flaxseed
Bang A Gong!
With Mustard and Catalina dressing

I have taken my childhood all the way with me
To seniority -- You should SEE my apartment!
A Hoot & A Howl

TakeOut For The Mind:
http://sigtwayne.com/

The most influential new force on planet E
Since the Bushmen went underground

Masturbating: Raping The Dick!
Early & Often

Perfectique . . .

I wouldn't want to be any more
Or Any Less drunk than iam rightnow ...

I'm a thought teacher--
I teach people how to think so that
They don't screw up the rest of their lives

I'll marry your career
Be co-manager of it with you

Questions About Anything?

e-mail me at sigmondtwayne@juno.com

Personal Note:
As god is Blowing Up the Balloon we call the Universe
I too enjoy the plumping feeling of my expanding spheroid

Even The Kings envy the entertainers

Now I'm "down with" the new one:
Deandrathal Dewonderfal--
But That's not saying much
Anyone within sixteen feet of her
Would be in love with her

Time Does NOT Heal All Wounds . . .

If they kill you, HOW are you going to heal?!
(If their actions are so devastatingly destructive
as to be a spiritual homocide)

They demand to be abanonded and So They Are!
(because if they feel "you" have made them feel useless
Then their reaction will be to make you feel useless)

and Then you can forgive the person
for their pathetic helpless malice
But dismiss them permanently from your life

When the subject feels (s)he is being abandoned
(s)he will attack to destroy the abandoner
before or while the abandonment has been executed

There's no reason to give them a second chance
because they've Already Done It
Thus denying themselves the access to--
And privilege of--your personality

and don't remind yourself of those whom
You are trying to forget -- You don't want
To be around that kind of trash Anyway!

Smoking To Live Or To Die

If you're smoking because you HAVE to, you're doomed
But if you're just smoking
In front of the bar with the guys (and the girls)
You have a sweet life

Wilt The Stilt Will Wilt

Wilt Chamberlain claimed he had 20,000 women
(that's 2 women a day for 27 years)
I may not make it to 2000 by 2020!

Don't "hate" me because I'm cocky
But love me because I'm a crack-up.

Coming Soon: Nude Blog Parties

Mickey & Roger OR A-Rod & Manny Rammy

I'm from the classic era of Baseball --
Late 50's NY Yankees -- Mantle, Maris, etc.

Nowadays it's just drugs and long hair --
Steroids, I mean, Not cocaine or crack --
That's what they use AFTER the game

It's Not the Seven Deadly Sins --
It's the 7 party favors

Sig Twayne Only "Dates" Models . . .

... carbondates them (to be exact)
And carbonates them in the sack

Now back to the future
Sig has three girls In One Room:
Aelischiae Blondshell, Sarah Pole Instructor
And The Egyptian Goddess

Lifestyle Note:
Sig gets up at 11
11 PM (sleeps 7 to 11 PM)

Tisha Barley Hops!

If this were an alternative universe (alt.reality)
I'd have an affair with her
But as far as I know
This the same (so far) universe I met her in

Now I remember why I like her: She's an Abbott!

Can you be theatrical with me for a moment?
If I told you, "I think I'm in love with you"
What would you do with me?

Phyllis Philistine

About my best friend (pseudomom) Phyllis:
I wouldn't say she's a wet blanket
Just damp, not even moist
(id like to watch her come)
But she's the most absorptive listener
I've ever had the luxury of having

The Real Meaning of Heaven & Hell

The Catholican Church says that the
Worst part of Hell is NOT the "physical" pain
But just being 86'd by "God"
(not being able to see His Face)
{Perish The Thought!}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now let's be realistic --

The worst part of life is
Being (professionally & socially) excommunicated
By the one person you actually liked
for trying to help you
(out of your misery)

But "water seeks its own level" and
Fools descend into the pool of self-demotion --

Being weaned from receiving
daily 1 or 2 messages (blogs) to
NO messages a day, a week, a month, etc.

And then on the other hand, I have groupies now
It's weird -- guys without jobs or a clue

Filing Systems L & R

L & R = Left & Right
Left Brain Filing System:
Alphabetical, Numerical, Chronological

Right Brain Filing System:
Let things gravitate as they will
Then learn Where everything is

The Sevens --
7 blogs this 1st day of my new blog

2 x 7 = 14 miles from Occidental to PCH (1)
6 x 7 = 42 miles from Ford-Freestone (Bodega Hwy)
------- to Port Reyes / Sir Frances Drake Blvd
8 x 7 = 56 miles from Occidental to Olema
10x 7 = 70 days from July 15 to September 23 --
------- Awake 35 hours on the 1st day of
------- my 24 day trip starting July 15th and then
------- Awake 31 hours on the 1st day of my two-
------- nighter in San Francisco, September 23

Wanna Heara Rant?

Fool Me Once ..... Won't Get Fooled Again!
-
Vengeful vindictive nefarious little shits
-
It Helps to identify and avoid these
Angry ingrate socially destructive brats
-
Smutty foulmouthed snively little imp bastard
Disgusting dirtbag sleuth and slimey evil snot
-
Combative dickhead punk thug,
Ratfink turdface defecto psycho
Stinky skunk runt varmint jackass
And super sensitive little freak
Havin' another smarmy weasel hissy fit
AKA treacherous temper tantrum
-
Poor miserable wretch sneaky snake
that steals your toys to sell them back to you
And then describes this as 'frienship.'
-
When they design & build something for you
They Shouldn't Take It Back as a hostage
(to meet their pathetic delusional demands)
-
The power to destroy is a pretty lame power
Even the Reptilian brain is Not as
Inept as this prodigal parasite
-
Despicable Character Trait:
Talent & Creativity are worthless if coming from
An uncouth slob & shifty hustler backstabbing jerk
Who needs psychiatric treatment OR A new mommy
-
Final Thought:
Do You ACTUALLY Have To Be SUCH A Stinker?

[Editor's Note: Writing a piece like this is like
Blowing chunks (of vomit) -- very fulfilling in a
Reverse peristalsis sort of way]

Fake Your Own Death . . .

... Stop writing your blog ...

So, the last blog on the old blog address
Says that I'm driving around in the coastal fog
And being with hookers in San Francisco!

That's o.k. I can go with that image.

~~ Style Completely ~~

I love my new style so completely that other
People are merely accessories to my happiness

Sometimes it's right to yield (allow) a lead change
To let the other fast person lead for awhile --
Doin' 53 on a 35 tight-curves road
At 7 AM -- is one cool ride!

Sometimes you have to arrest your speed abruptly
With some tire chirpin' n' hoppin'

Dreaming is Driving the Coastal Fog
(hard, fast & effortless)
with theMellow sounds of KJZY-FM

It is so thickly foggy that
you can't see the ocean from the coast

When people say, "Going up to heaven"
they're meaning, "going up to Marin"

Wave at {some} people as you drive by
It'll either make you laugh or make you cry
(depending on how much pot you smoked)

Time does disappear
after all the distances
become perfectly clear